Necessity is the mother of invention, and I really needed to sleep. When guests came forward to provide their Preakness analysis for Paddy’s Picks last week, I assumed that I would be able to produce an article on the day of my graduation ceremony. I was even willing to put it together during the ceremony itself. But in my black robes on a 90-degree day on Saturday, I entered a nearly incoherent state by noon, and couldn’t do much more than sit and stare at the floor until my name was called to receive a diploma. I would apologize, but many of the guests in this article were present with me that day and were similarly delirious. So instead of apologizing, I’m offering a new alternative.
To make up for the absence of a guest preview for the Middle Jewel of the Triple Crown, I’ve instead put together a review. With the result in mind, it’s possible for me to go back and provide insight into all of my guests’ picks and explanations. I can’t imagine how lucky they all must feel.
Though I’ll include the full result below, the important thing to note is that Early Voting defeated heavy favorite Epicenter to win the 2022 Preakness Stakes. Any other pick that a guest made was wrong. As one can see by looking at the official Paddy’s Picks preview of the race, I didn’t see this coming, and did not have Early Voting in my top four. I’m very ashamed but also only bet $7 on the race.
Pimlico, Race 13
Preakness Stakes (G1) for Three-Year-Olds, 1 3/16 Miles on the Dirt
Full Order of Finish:
1. Early Voting (5)
2. Epicenter (8)
3. Creative Minister (2)
4. Secret Oath (4)
5. Skippylongstocking (9)
6. Simplification (1)
7. Armagnac (7)
8. Happy Jack (6)
9. Fenwick (3)
Emma Moquin
In the midst of a grueling act of sibling servitude, my sister managed to pass some time at my graduation ceremony Saturday afternoon to pick a horse to win the Preakness. Her efforts alone warrant a reciprocal effort from me in judging her pick, right here on Paddy’s Picks.
Emma’s Pick: 8- Epicenter
“I just don’t see him losing after he got the Derby stolen like that.”
In Hindsight: As one of the foremost guest handicappers on Paddy’s Picks, Emma’s conclusion was well-founded but rushed, something that I was also probably guilty of in my own analysis. Though he was the rightful winner of the Kentucky Derby in many ways, a troubled trip in the Preakness proved to be enough to relegate Epicenter to runner-up again. Emma has now picked Epicenter in both races on the Triple Crown trail. He has finished second both times.
Jean Patterson
Standing in for my mother, who did more than enough for me on Saturday as a proud attendee at my graduation in 90-degree weather, my Aunt Jeanie made her debut as a Paddy’s Picks guest contributor for this race. As one of the first people I asked, I had no way of knowing that she was setting a trend among my Preakness guests with her intuitive selection.
Aunt Jeanie’s Pick: 9- Skippylongstocking
“I’m going to pick Skippypippilongstocking! Ha! I know, it’s Skippylongstocking. But the name is a clever mix of Skippyjon Jones and Pippi Longstocking, main characters in beloved children’s books.”
In Hindsight: It seems that my aunt was just the first of many guests who connected with Skippy’s name. That being said, she was also one of only two guests to identify Skippyjon Jones as a potential source of inspiration for the name, alongside the more obvious reference to Pippi Longstocking. In addition to setting the trend, she also gave original reasoning, and Skippylongstocking outran his odds to finish fifth.
Niko Konstantellis
Niko has been singularly focused on graduation as of late, and therefore didn’t have much time to dedicate to his Preakness analysis. As I write this, he’s getting dinner with his family in Astoria. I know there are two McDonald’s restaurants in the area, but I think he prefers the one by LaGuardia.
Niko’s Pick: 8- Epicenter
“He’s not losing.”
In Hindsight: He lost.
Owen Roche
The great opiner has returned. Gather round, one and all, to listen to his esoteric, bizarrely referential prose.
Owen’s Equine Opine:
“If the sickeningly trendy scribble-undesign of the Preakness Stakes website is any indicator, bettor beware too much of the mainstream at the track.
Much like neon, gameresque “P/147” tech jackets, some contenders are intriguing in theory, but highly questionable in practice. Known girlboss Secret Oath is an appealing combination of attributes on the surface – just like all-caps sans serifs, scribbly arrows and obscene amounts of rectangles, and we can see how well that’s turned out on the Preakness site. It’s time to look past the 2021 WordPress Default Theme of horses.
I need a horse that bucks the trend. I need a Matrix horse. In a race of pretentious animations and completely useless triangles, I need a craigslist.org. Put the $15 you were going to spend on Preakness socks on Happy Jack.”
In Hindsight: If Shakespeare and an FIT student kicked the same baby in the head, that baby would still only grow up to write something half as feverish as this. Happy Jack finished eighth.
Jill Rice
After graduating on Saturday, Jill Rice was kind enough to come over and meet my sister Emma, who she was unable to see when I recently brought her to Belmont with some friends. During a brief conversation, my father complimented Jill on her consistently thorough Paddy’s Picks contributions, which means that somewhere in the world, Jill will forever be best known for her horse racing analysis.
Jill’s Pick: 1- Simplification
“Keep it simple. That’s how you win the race, that’s how this graduation ceremony should go. Shoutout to Pat for letting me write this in the graduation line. My vote goes to Simplification so he can simplify the race and win!”
In Hindsight: While Jill’s logic was airtight, Simplification struggled to find a straightforward path and went on to finish sixth. After selecting Tiz the Bomb to win the Kentucky Derby, she now has one opportunity left to cash in on a Triple Crown race this year.
Maddie Sandholm
Maddie may be back in Oregon now that the school year is over, but the inevitable monotony of being there hadn’t yet set in when she made her prediction for the Preakness. In fact, she was even beginning to break her own rule and use… horse racing knowledge to determine the winner.
Maddie’s Pick: 4- Secret Oath
“I’ve learned a lot* about horse racing since the Kentucky Derby and Oaks. But I’m going to throw any potential analysis or smart words out of the window to choose Secret Oath. I just think the filly is neat and that she’s gonna kick some ass on Saturday.
*‘A lot’ is relative to my knowledge beforehand, so the bar was on the ground.”
In Hindsight: Maddie wasn’t the only bettor who thought the filly was going to beat the boys, as Secret Oath went off as the second choice on the tote board. But despite making a strong move on the turn to get into striking position, she ultimately failed to capitalize and finished fourth. Tough loss for Maddie, but word on the street is that she’s already asking about the Belmont…
Corbin Gregg
I think I watched Corbin undergo a near-death experience on Saturday. Sitting next to him at graduation in our black robes, I bore witness as a man teetered on the brink between sanity and madness. I pleaded with him on several occasions to at least take his hat off, but his commitment to procedure persisted even after his second water bottle rang hollow and beads of sweat collected on his forehead like rain drops on a window in a summer squall. His whereabouts now are a mystery to me, but I do hope he makes the most of life on the other side of that torturous day.
Corbin’s Pick: 1- Simplification
“Simplification’s got this one made, in a year where some horses have defied all odds, it’s time to pull back. While some steeds have a lot going for them, this horse can win it all by doing what it knows best: keeping it simple.”
In Hindsight: Corbin’s selection came before the events of Saturday’s graduation ceremony, a simpler time in his life when fainting was much less of a reality than it was when he asked me, “If I try to stand up and faint, will you guys ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ me across the stage?” It makes sense that he picked a horse like Simplification back in innocent times like Thursday. He was more naive then. Simplification finished sixth.
Gabby Etzel
Gabby Etzel stood 10 feet away from me in line at graduation for 15 minutes before realizing I was there. When she did, she told me about her exciting plans to travel to New Orleans and Canada later this year, and even more importantly, she reminded me that she picked a horse for the Preakness.
Gabby’s Pick: 9-Skippylongstocking
“Every instinct in me wants to say that Simplification will make winning easy, but I’m gonna go with Skippylongstocking because that horse and my 15 year old self share a nicknamesake.”
In Hindsight: The race for fifth place did indeed come down to the two horses Gabby mentioned, and she insightfully picked the correct one. The four horses that finished in front of her selection are frankly irrelevant.
Allie Stofer
As the new Editor-in-Chief of The Fordham Observer, Allie has had to take a step back from her rigorous efforts to learn the art of handicapping. But with summer approaching, it’s only a matter of time before she masters this equine labyrinth we all find ourselves in. Her analysis here should demonstrate her progress thus far.
Allie’s Pick: 9- Skippylongstocking
“Never seen Pippi Longstocking but my friends have a cat named Skippyjon Jones (after the popular children’s book), so I gotta go for Skippy.”
In Hindsight: Allie was… preoccupied when she wrote this. Her original message has been edited for the sake of clarity.
Cristine Kalinski
While most Fordham students, myself included, listened to Fordham’s Commencement speakers with undivided attention, Cristine chose to pick a horse for the Preakness during their speeches. I don’t know what would possess her to ignore the wise and salient words of the university’s guest speakers in order to analyze a horse race, but I apologize to my readers for her conduct in any case.
Cristine’s Pick: 8- Epicenter
“I like Epicenter because it reminds me of the many earthquakes I lived through in my childhood in Southern California.”
In Hindsight: A very specific trend continues. In a handful of contributions on Paddy’s Picks, Cristine has managed to find the favorite in nearly every single race she’s looked at. On this occasion, I happened to agree with her pick, but we were both foiled. If California was more well-known for its election turnout than its devastating natural disasters, she may have stumbled into the right answer.
Clara Gerlach
As Corbin eroded before my eyes in the seat to my right at Saturday’s ceremony, Clara did her very best to keep things upbeat in the seat to my left. She struggled in that endeavor. It may surprise readers, but I’m prone to succumbing to grumpiness when I’m forced to sit for hours on end in scorching hot weather in a ridiculous costume. Though Clara occasionally complained in her own right, she also made the process more bearable with her cheerful outlook. I think her guess for the Preakness reflects that.
Clara’s Pick: 9- Skippylongstocking
“Call me a nerd, but this is so cute. She better have pigtails though!”
In Hindsight: We’ve already established that Skippy has a wonderful name, and we also know that he finished fifth. He did not have pigtails, or else he likely would have done better.
Chris Murray
Chris is legitimately learning how to bet on horses, so I’m going to try and give his analysis constructive, detailed feedback. It’s the only way he’s going to improve as a handicapper. I hope he learns something new through my insights.
Chris’ Pick: 8- Epicenter
“Epicenter is going to win this race and then some. Should’ve won the derby but he’ll come through big time with a strong race in Maryland. I also like Simplification to give him a run for his money.”
In Hindsight: Not even close. My lessons have clearly done nothing.
Maryam Beshara
I think Maryam is a sleeper candidate for fastest learner on Paddy’s Picks. In her debut on the website two weeks ago, she nearly pulled off a shocker when she landed on runner-up Epicenter. After two races, it appears that she’s learning another early lesson.
Maryam’s Pick: 8- Epicenter
“I have to go with my man again, he was robbed of the spotlight last time when Rich Strike (jackass) stole the race. Ok, maybe he didn’t steal the race and I’m just upset that Epicenter came in 2nd… maybe. I will still take my aggression out of Rich Strike though. Anyway, go Epicenter, make mama proud.”
In Hindsight: In horse racing, it becomes oddly easy to continue falling for the same horse in consecutive races. He or she runs well enough to impress but not well enough to win, and a person might continue betting on them with the expectation that they’re due. My love for Frosted in 2015 is as memorable as it is silly in retrospect. Niko Konstantellis’ soft spot for the late Midnight Bourbon is well-documented on this website, and also a key reason why he didn’t correctly predict a single horse race as a guest last year. In the Preakness, Epicenter did not make Maryam (or mama) proud. But you have to imagine that he’s due, right?
Gillian Russo
Gil’s dedication to Paddy’s Picks is consistently fervent, and her use of the platform as a way to spread humor and enthusiasm is frankly as valuable as anything I write.
Gil’s Pick: 6- Happy Jack
“Happy Jack looks familiar from my last Casual Bet race choices, and I would assume if he’s in another race that would mean he’s won his last one and advanced. Hopefully. Maybe they all advanced from past races which makes my case kinda pointless. Anyway, I’ll pick Happy Jack regardless because happy is always good.
By the way, Skippylongstocking is my second choice. Also for the happy factor, considering the whimsical character he’s named for that I loved in childhood. But although it makes sense for a horse to be named after a horse girl, I can’t like, *fully* put my support behind that at 22.”
In Hindsight: Happy Jack finished eighth in the Preakness after finishing 14th in the Kentucky Derby, but the fact remains that happy will always be good.
Kreena Vora
With a background in mathematics, Kreena is slowly beginning to take a very serious interest in betting on horse racing. In a recent trip to Belmont Park, she did significant studying beforehand and made a very tidy profit over the course of the 11-race day. Her efforts have been admirable and persistent.
Kreena’s Pick: 4- Secret Oath
“Epicenter or Secret Oath
Actually I will commit
Secret Oath
Cuz Epicenter lost last time
And I remember that”
In Hindsight: In what can only be described as poetic analysis, Kreena very effectively used past observations to determine her pick for the Preakness. Based on what she saw in the Kentucky Oaks and Derby, she did narrow down the Preakness to a very competitive pair, and going against the favorite Epicenter was also correct. Unfortunately, an unfamiliar newcomer caught her and many others by surprise.
Esme Bleecker-Adams
Esme has been a name picker from the very beginning, and her instincts when looking at the Preakness field should begin to feel familiar.
Esme’s Pick: 9- Skippylongstocking
“I mean pippi longstocking is an iconic girlboss, and like the OG horse girl if I remember correctly, so there really is no other option.”
In Hindsight: Like so many others, Esme selected Skippylongstocking for his charming name, an homage to at least one famous children’s book character. This strategy didn’t happen to work on this occasion.
Christian Madlansacay
After picking Summer Is Tomorrow in the Kentucky Derby (only for that colt to finish dead last in the field of 20), the world of racing was looking up for Christian going into the Preakness. By necessity.
Christian’s Pick: 9- Skippylongstocking
“Skippylongstocking because the name is really fun to say.”
In Hindsight: Yes, we get it. Skippylongstocking is a very fun name. Read the room next time, Christian. Sheesh.
Shaily Jani
For what I feel has been at least seven years, Shaily has been working on her sister’s wedding, and has not been able to truly grapple with the sport of horse racing. But through all of life’s distractions, she continues to try to tell Paddy’s Picks readers what she’s thinkin’ about.
Shaily’s Pick: 9- Skippylongstocking
“Here’s what I’m thinkin’ about:
Skippylongstocking is a good name. Skippylongstocking is a WINNER’S name. I loved Pippi Longstocking as a child and thought she was a real feral child who was just out and about in the world. I was heartbroken when I found out she was a fictional character. Skippylongstocking reminds me of simpler, happier times. Skippylongstocking IS a real feral child. We are all Skippylongstocking. <3”
In Hindsight: Skippylongstocking is a good name. We’ve established this. But on this occasion, it wasn’t a WINNER’S name. <3
Emily Ellis
I knew Emily’s pick before I asked her, because I know her better than she knows herself. My friendship with my future co-author no longer holds any surprises.
Emily’s Pick: 4- Secret Oath
“Not only is she a feminist, but I recognized her name and that’s a first for me.”
In Hindsight: Though Secret Oath remains a staunch feminist, she couldn’t do quite enough to overcome some of the male contenders in this contest. I’ll make no further jokes for fear of a one-woman mutiny.
Gabriella Bermudez
Gabby takes a… detached approach to her horse racing picks. As a Sports & Health Editor for The Fordham Observer, she energetically tackles issues and writes as fervently as she posts on social media. As a guest contributor on Paddy’s Picks, she seems to make things up as she goes along. I deeply appreciate both approaches.
Gabriella’s Pick: 2- Creative Minister
“Because when we went to the track, all the #2 horses did really well! I thought it was the same horse each time (turns out it wasn’t). 2 is a lucky number when it comes to horses!”
In Hindsight: Though she clearly learned nothing on our trip to Belmont, Gabby did happen to find an interesting horse in the Preakness. At 10-1 odds, Creative Minister rallied to finish third in his stakes debut.
Alyssa Macaluso
In this race, Alyssa was clearly torn between her two loves in horse racing: a filly against colts and a lone gray. In the end, she seems to have gone with her heart, an admirable habit of hers in general.
Alyssa’s Pick: 4- Secret Oath
“On my first gander, I really like Creative Minister. Are his odds great? No. But they’re not impossible. He hasn’t done too badly in the three races he’s run, placing first in two and second in the other. And I love that he’s going to stand out in the crowd, the only gray coat among bays. I do love a horse that’s not like the other guys (and gal).
But I do have to go with Secret Oath. Her name is not my favorite, but as the only filly in the race, I believe in her to show up and represent. Put those boys in their place, Secret Oath.”
In Hindsight: Alyssa’s intuition wasn’t perfect, but she did fare much better than most guests in this race. Creative Minister upset much of the field to finish third, and Secret Oath tired late but still held well for fourth.
Roxanne Cubero
Roxanne often picks horses as a sort of manifestation. For a very bold individual, her selection here may seem quaint, but her explanation makes it all feel very obvious.
Roxanne’s Pick: 1- Simplification
“With finals behind me and a summer with virtually no plans ahead of me, you might say that i am in my Simplification era. Head empty, no thoughts. I wake up, I read a book, I eat food, I sleep, and then I repeat. Thus, my pick is Simplification, because he gets it…at least in name.”
In Hindsight: Though Simplification struggled in the Preakness, his performance should have no bearing as an omen on Roxanne’s summer to come. That being said, if the horse had won, I would’ve said that it was a fantastic omen for her summer to come. Probably best to move on.
Grace Getman
Grace recently submitted her honors thesis at Fordham, in which she analyzed delays in public works projects in Syracuse, New York. I should have seen this coming.
Grace’s Pick: 5- Early Voting
“Good reminder that elections in New York State are coming up this June and you should register to vote, absentee or early, if you’re a resident <3”
In Hindsight: Well, an adherence to one’s civic duty proved to be just one of two ways that any of my guests could have made money on this race. After qualifying for the Kentucky Derby but withdrawing, Early Voting came back in the Preakness and held off favorite Epicenter to win. All of this was obviously calculated in Grace’s call for voter registration.
Asa Brandyberry
In Asa’s Paddy’s Picks debut, he picked Messier to win the Kentucky Derby and watched in agony as the highly touted contender faded badly in the stretch. One can now say that Mr. Brandyberry has entered his villain arc on this website. As others continue to learn in an effort to understand, he’s embracing the chaos.
Asa’s Pick: 5- Early Voting
“I bet on Early Voting. The name insinuates they will be early to the finish line 😉 (since the fiasco at the derby, all logic is out the window lol)”
In Hindsight: See, madness, as you know, is like gravity… 😉
Hey Paddy, first time commenter, long time reader. Really great piece you got here, truly loved the analysis. That Niko Konstantellis guy sure seems like he knows what he is doing, and is also probably very handsome.